Busy-ness

Hasn't it been ages since we've all met?
Well, considering that Harsh and I ar the only ones who do actually bother to check this thing out, or contribute to it, we've been meeting everyday!!!
Well, I got good news for you, honey. My dad said yes for Salsa!!! Only, I'll be missing the second and third calss... And I've lost the telephone No. that you'd given me, so I'll have o take that again...
Oh, yeah, I require you to make me Administrator of this group too. Is that possible? Pkease? Just go to settings, click on members and tick next to my id to make me administrator. Thanx.
Well, that's it!!!
Love you all,
Natasha.

To My Best Friend's Sister

To My Best Friend’s Sister

...And the world turns around…

The Irritation of just Being,

The Frustration of Not being able to Express,

The Intensity of Emotions.

I Cannot face the Problems of Life,

They are not for me to face,

I have a Right Not To.

I Cannot think,

Cannot Develop myself,

Frustration!

Is there a way out for me?

So I turn my eyes Around…

A True Friend

The Darkness of my Room.
The Thin Drone of the Fan.
The Sound of the Air.
The Large Window by my Bed.

The Crazy Humidity.
The Wildness of the Heat.
Me on my Warm bed,
Unable to get Sleep.

A Cool, Gentle Breeze,
Bringing my Mind to Peace.
As if Carressing my bare shoulder,
Putting me to Sleep.

The Answer.

I'm not pissed at the ORT people any more. And we don't require to sit and abise them. In fact it's you guys who deserve abusing for NOT AT ALL posting on here!!! You all suck eggs!!! I'm not typing all this for Time pass!!! I want you all to post, and there's going to be no more talk about this!!!
I'll get back to why I'm no more mad at them. Well, they told me that they aren't sure about my history, as in how involved I've been with my community in the past. Which is a question that even I can't answer quiet proudly. Apparently, my name had been suggested in the top five by my Indian Madrichims as well as my Israeli Madrichims. But Victor Sasoon(the Chairman of ORT) sait that since he doesn't know if I will be all dedicated afterwards, which, let's be honest, even I don't think I will. So now I'm perfectly fine with it.
I must say a special thanx to Joel though because he's been making soo much effort so that I can come. He firstly called up Bene Issac(The Director of ORT), and spoke to himabout me not being choosen when 2-3 other wayy less active than me have been choosen. the Bene issac told him the circumstance. Secondly, he put forth the best picture of me in front of Bene(and he refuses to tell me what he's said), but apparently Bene was very pleased after hearing his phenominal praises about me. Thirdly, he went and personally went and met Sasoon and Bene, and missed out on his sleep(he does night shiftls so he has to sleep during the day).
Ok, more news. I might be going to Hungary this June. But that's only if my passport is valid by the terms of the Hungarian VISA. The problem is that it expires this Oct which for some reason could be a small problem. But whatever... Anywhichways, if incase I do go to Hungary it will be soo awesome!!! It's for 3 weeks, and we only have to pay Rs. 11,000/-!!! For the first week we'll be trained in leading others and the next two weeks, we have to lead over others!!! From different countries!!! How funnnnnn!!! It's going to be soo freakin tough naa? They'll all be the doped idiots who never follow instructions and all and I'm going to have t make them do tings and all!!! Woo hoo!!!
Love you all,
Natasha aka Tziporah.

Beauty

The Brilliance of Thought.

The Limitlessness of Reality.
The Complexity of People.
The Power of Language.
The Madness of Perception.
The Deepness of Emotions.
The Vanity of Logic.
The Rawness of Wealth.
The Heat of Desire.
The Strength of Will.
The Joy of Achievement.
The Chaos of Humanity.
The Warmth of Relation.
The Inexplicability of Love.

The Sense of Satisfaction.

The Beauty of Life.

My exams are oveR... and my stupid 'shift' key still isn't working right... it's soo annoying. I have to keep pressing caps lock to get caps...
I was supposed to go to Pollyesthers, but dad's saying no. No celebrating Holi either, none of my friends are playing...
But apat from all that, I'm doing wonderfully well. Things couldn't be better with my life.
The whole not being allowed to go to pollys thing isn't bothering me too much either.
What did bother me was the fact that I wasn't chosed to go to Israel with my friends. Worse yet, they're not giving me a reason as to why I'm not chosen. I wish they'd just tell me what was lacking in me, because this way I'm just out thinkin that they're being unfair, and it WAS kind of mind-fucking me. I'm much better now, after having talked it out to my good friends, Sneha, Ruch and Harsh. Thanx, you guys. After your exams get done with, we shall all sit together and you all can help me abuse them.
I went to Vashi yesterday. The Jewish Agency was there, and we had to meet them, and they told me that they want me to present the slideshow. Why, why the hell... Anyways, we went, and we were hardly there for likr 1/2 an hour. Then Hottie, Joel, Aru and I went to Center one mall and had a good time there. Joel got a new cell, and his cell to my cell is free, so he can call anytime. He's really nice to me. Oi, Aru was in a saree, she's soo cute.
I had a terrible time while getting back soo late in the night. This one guy followed me in his car, all the way from Mahim Station to the main road saying, ''Get in or everyone will throw water ballons at you... You'll get wet...'' I was soo scared, I crossed the road as soon as I reached the main road. Thankfully he didn't get out of his car and come after me.
I'll hopefully be seeing you guys soon. Good luck with your exams.
Love you tons,
Natasha.

Send a mail to yourself in the future.

Here is a cool website in which you can send an email dated in the future to yourself or any other address.

http://www.futureme.org/

To Self, Practicality, Responsibility, Chaos and the Fire.

Since last year, I have decided that I'll dedicate my birthdays to something. Last year I had dedicated it to the Harmony of the Universe and Perception.

This year I have dedicated to, well, a lot of things.

Self: It is important to give importance to oneself. You'll find yourself much happier.

Practicality: Everything that I go through ultimately drives down to practicality. It is important for me to apply what I know and what i have realised and gain from it.

Responsibility: In order to achieve my aims and goals, Responsibility plays an important part. I will have to learn to multitask better and understand that I cannot screw up as much as I could have before.

Chaos: Chaos seems to be evident everywhere and in everything. It is the nature of nature. From the Stock markets to the biological structure. I have come to think of Risk as nothing but a reflection of the chaotic, imperfect human nature.

The Fire: There burns in me a desire to achieve and explore. It is this fire that is my spirit.

I have also come to believe that I have found the answer to the meaning of life. But you will have to forget the notions of right and wrong to understand it. The meaning of life is in living it. Living it completely- fulfilling your dreams. Nothing else. It's not to become a sage in the mountains or the Ambanis. It's just getting what you want- working for it. I think that this finally is the meaning of life. It gives me a strange sort off peace.

Again, there is a long way to go for me. I have written a short poem:

There is so much to explore,
There is so little time,
There is infinite potential,
There is infinite will power,
There is infinite laziness.


I would look to end this piece with my favourite poems by Robert Frost.

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Zuzanà Zatloukàlova

Hey Hasheee,
Nice to hear from you!!! You know that beside Nina I liked you the most;)
In April and May I expect the most horrible time:(((( I have to study for my
graduation (May 22-25) so I will barely have some spar time to travel the
Europe. However if you came I would definitely host you for some days!! I
would love to see you!
My summer vacation begins right after graduation and the universities start
in the end of September = these are the longest vacation you can have -
between high school and university, otherwise is it just 2 months - July and
August. I will have to go through 4 testing during June though:( So I will
also have to study for it little bit and I mainly need to stay at home.
I really would love to visit you sometimes. I have already told Petr about
my dream to visit Bombay and I kinda unterstand:) Unfortunatlly money is the
issue...but once I will make it! YOu just don't forget me.

OK.,I have to go, my mom came home and I am supposed to be in bed;)

On Ledianoi

"It must be the feeling of touch...we feel the need so badly that we just Crash into each other..."

Gift for the Darkness:

"You knew I was close to you! Close! Close! That's why no go? That's why things are the way they are?!...You are not wanted here...We'll do you in...see? All of us. See?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Enough of my lecturing...there is no way you can know what I mean. But it is for me only. Anyways, even I'm quiet frustrated and sick of it...

I have been missing her soo terribly. I feel so sad that I can't even hug her when I want. It's almost kiddish. I guess it's a part of love. I don't feel like doing anything because I feel I am soo incapable of anything...I can't even handle a relationship.


There are things in life no one can help. It's best to not think about them. Or they creep into you deeply and they almost capture you. And then once you are in the pit it's like a Black Hole for a while...Till it simply evapourates leaving you wondering when the next one will suck you in.

My friend David was here from Australia on the 3rd morning. I showed him all over Bandra. But since my exams are coming up, he's living with another boy whome we know. He'll be in India till the 11th. Then he is going to Europe for one year to work in Britain.

My parents are also here. They came on the 2nd night. It's so good to have them! But they will be here only till the 6th. My grandmom leaves on the 8th. My brother will be heading of to China for some work on the 16th. It will be fun facing myself alone. My parents come and as soon as they come they have to pack to go back. I don't really mind that anymore. There is also a possibility that I will have to move out of my house in Bandra. It's not mine though, but still. That's they way it always is in a government service. And I'm fine with that too.

I have been paying a lot of attention to the Stock Market lately...The market has gone sort of crazy since the budget. India has grown at a rate of 8.1% last year. Even the taxi drivers have 6610's. That's my India!
It's so interesting and fascinating- The chaotic behaviour of the stock market. So Real and Human and Powerful...The lines of the chart...this is the way people earn money. They just snatch it from the ones who buy and loose. It's simple demand-supply function but yet the big picture is so complicated and chaotic.



Above: An intra-day graph of the huge company ITC. Y Axis is Price and X axis is Time. In 15 Minutes the price jumped from Rs.163 to Rs.175. How many people must have lost soo much money and how many people must have made. Notice the tall green bars which signify the quantity of shares bought. I would like to invest in a company which has such kind of support in the short run...However, i feel like I'v missed this bus or wave or whatever you want to call it. It's raw power in display.
It's funny how even physicists study Stock Markets because of its non-linearity. I am enjoying a lot "directing" my own little investment firm...I really want to know everything about the market and how it works.



I had a nice, long chat with my dad the yesterday, about my career and my future. I had told Natasha that he is my idol. He totally rules my world. He has such big plans for my brother and me. It's amazing how big he can think. I was so much in despair before. But his light it so powerful that it reaches me so strongly, even in the dense fog of uncertainty. And he told me one line in the end,"Baby, You don't know where you are headed..." That line has inspired me soo much that I am going to defy even myself. It brought tears to my eyes. His faith and belief in me moved me so much. He just talks to me for five minutes and detangles my entire life- so simply and elegently. I want to big like him one day. Sooo big. I am not worried about my future anymore. Yesterday has changed me forever. Now, there is simply too much to do and too much to achieve and too much to explore. So I don't feel bad about anything anymore. Anyways, who cares?

Nurith's big day

It's on this Sunday!!! My cousin sister is getting married this Sunday. Can you imgine it? I mean, it feels just like yesterday that I was all messed up with that whole Siddharth-Robin issue. The Siddharth guy was too cute haa, btw, I'd met him when I'd gone to Mahableshwar with Nurith et al.
Well, considering I've nly mentioned it only about a million times, you all might be aware of the fact that my exams start just the next day of the wedding *gulps down the invisible blob of air stuck in the throat*. but I have to say something, I'm not that worried any more. I've been studying *gloats*, and thats all thanx to Harshu!!! He's motivated me soo much. So I'm still not like very prepared, but if not for him, I'd be worse yet. I love thee, my lord.
I'll post a pic of the engagement soon. I'll try and get it tomo only.
I'm going to be getting mehendi applied tomo, and apply it to others the day after that, and then comes the wedding.
I wish all you guys could be there. Well, I hope that atleast Chotu and Ruch will be able to make it. My gown is ready!!!And it's soo much like this!!! Atleast the colour!!!
I should get back to my studies, and you guys, please post on here yaa.
Miss you all loads,
Natasha.